Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The fear to lose...

I just walked downstairs, the house all quiet, everyone but me in bed as usual at this time...
When I left from my room everything was fine, but down there, everything dark and abandoned, the sudden thought that everything will once be like those rooms there... dead and gone... hit me. I don't know why I tought of that, but it was enough to wet my eyes... a weird feeling, so without reason, all of a sudden.
I'm so afraid of death... of losing everything someday - not money or property, but friends, family, even myself - everything I gained in this life, my knowledge, my memories... I'm terrified by the thought to someday find, just to have to lose it all again. I'm not afraid of dying... I'm just afraid of the loss it comes with...

I got some new writing for you as well - not so dark-minded fortunately... It's not finished yet, but enjoy:

Cold-swept grief

Sweat-earned relief

Blood-stained freedom

Tear-stained doom

Forever we wonder what we did it for

Forever we know, we wanted it so

Our hearts are betrayers

Our love keeps us near

Silent martyrdom

Sweetest salvation

Forlorn by this world

But not by our hope.


A memory lost to the chasm of doom

Falling Forever

(Down, down, down)

A fleet trick of light to escape the pitch-black

Rising towards morning

(Up to the sky)

Lost is the seeker, forlorn the blessed child

What was is but shadows once day has arrived

Forgive your own weakness, the past is but that

You’ll find your salvation once sun and moon met.


No demon was ever born as he is, no being without flaws, the world as it is.

The powerful feeds from the hand of the weak, so stop to be looking and find what you seek.

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